Now that we have marked and celebrated another birthday of Jesus the son of Mary, it’s time to sneak a look into 2024 by ensuring we do not leave behind these sweet habits like reverse calling and kuomba omba mia mbili urgently as we step into the new year.
Here are five other habits we should march with to 2024.
Reversing MPESA transactions
When the good people of Safaricom noticed that customers would er while making cash transactions via MPESA, they devised a way to remedy the mistake we all make from time to time. However, since Kenya is now shamba la mawe, clever Nairobians would always pay for a service or goods, and show the provider of the service before reversing the transaction minutes later on. To quote the bible, I’ll say that for all but none have sinned and gone against the glory of the Lord, why shouldn’t Nairobians reverse MPESA transactions mara moja moja tuu come 2024?
Kukula fare
The swahili say kwamba atafutaye hachoki, na akichoka, keshapata. For Nairobi men who still send ladies transport/fare while inviting them for moments of intimacy, keep on sending that money in 2024 so that our sisters can eat the fare and thank heavens for providing for the needy in society. And ladies, it’s time you also sent the fare. We have lost many comrades this year who died while engaging in sexual intimacy. So wanawake wa Nairobi, tumeni ata fare in 2024 so that men feel what you’ve been feeling all this while.
Kuhepa bill
Survival is for the fittest. And when you have no money to pay for a bottle of beer or pampers ya mtoto from duka ya Mary pale mtaani, be fit enough come 2024, to ask for a service or a beer and run the moment the shop owner looks left. Otherwise, how do you think politicians survive in this country after asking citizens for simple services like writing a campaign song or tweeting about a government service that is reportedly beneficial to Kenyans? Chanuka bwana.
Kutolipa deni
I know dawa ya deni ni kulipa. Lakini sio kila deni hulipwa. As Zakayo, the biblical one. In fact, why should Nairobians and Kenyans rush to pay debts come 2024 when the Republic of Kenya owes the World Bank, IMF and some powerful countries a lot of money? Bwana we will survive. 2024 usipolipa deni shauri yako.
Reverse calling
I heard a couple of clever guys in a pub discussing how Safaricom came up with the idea of reverse calls to ease communication between the haves and have-nots. See, since we like free things as citizens, the mobile service provider wondered, why not have the one with no airtime talk to the one with airtime on the latter’s bill? Well, 2024, keep on reverse-calling my fellow Nairobians. Wenye tutapigia watakasirika lakini bado tutapiga. Ama namna gani?
Kuomba omba omba mia mbili urgently
A text message would read: “Sasa, uko poa?” The response in turn: “Yes. Wewe?”
“Ata mimi. Btw, uko na mia tatu unitumie please? I urgently need the money.”
Well, I do not know why one would need mia mbili urgently and I will not allow myself to think about it because I also need mia mbili urgently. In 2024, let’s also ask for mia tano for it’s written, and you will receive it.
Kudandia form
“A man who calls his kinsmen to a feast does not do so to save them from starving. They all have food in their own homes. When we gather together in the moonlit village ground it is not because of the moon. Every man can see it in his compound. We come together because it is good for kinsmen to do so.”
Chinua Achebe said so. And in case you find friends or kinsmen sitting together enjoying a meal come 2024, please join them.
